Priestess of Light

Finduilas by Elena Kukanova

I love autumn. I love standing by my window and observe the sunlight on trees, feel their glittering colors inside of me.

The sun is slipping behind the mountains earlier with each passing day. Frost is in the air and I look to the mountains for signs of snow. I feel more in touch with the unseen world with the fall of darkness. Watching for signs of spirits walking among us.

***

It’s been hard to update this blog. I suppose I’ve been feeling somewhat uprooted since I moved from Norway to Slovenia, and even when I have something to say I stop myself from sharing.

I’ve been working on my novel nearly every day though, that I’ve titled Priestess of Light, though it might change later on. We write what we want to read, and I’ve always wanted a story about someone trying to follow the will of the gods, even as she struggles with her faith after having lost everything.

I wanted to write a book where the Goddess felt alive. A loving and powerful deity, very much present in the world. Walking alongside people, touching their hearts. I didn’t want her to seem distant and cold, as she sometimes seems to me in stories I’ve read. I wanted her to be a bright, burning candle in someone’s life.

I’ve longed to know the Goddess since the first time I read about her in a book, and yet not knowing how to pray. But before that, I didn’t even know she existed. I’d been praying to God…just because it felt good to do so. I longed for a connection with something greater than myself. A force that felt present in nature, in the sky and stars. A force I could speak to at night, or just before sunset, watching the colors shift on the horizon.

Having both the God and Goddess in my life, I feel more balanced. Like I’m a child of the Earth and Sky.

I dreamed of a world where there were people in white robes, living and learning magic at a temple of white stone. Singing by a lake, arranging flowers and bringing them to the feet of the Goddess. Looking to the mountains for strength. So I’ve been creating that world in my writing. Of course, there’s darkness too. A dragon rising up to blot out the sun, and how can our heroine defeat such a force?

It feels good to write out the ideas and images that have been floating in my heart and mind for years now. There’s healing in letting go.

***

The sky is darkening, and rain is in the air. There are many days of rain on the horizon and I’m looking forward to the sinking inwards that come with such grey days, the sense of cleansing that water brings. I’m looking to fall into the darkness of November and light many candles, participate in Nanowrimo.

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