The Return of Light

Here I am, back again. Writing from Slovenia. My husband and I moved from Norway to Slovenia, and then again within Slovenia. We’re now in a small, lovely town with more sunlight than my Norwegian-self think is normal for winter. It is wonderful, but somehow it makes me think a storm is coming. It’s almost like being back in California, though much colder of course. 

I like going for walks, watching the mountains. And I feel I’m settling down now, slowly. So many things have happened, and it’s been hard for me to find the quiet within myself to write. And whenever I do write something (I have several unpublished drafts) I feel afraid to share it. Perhaps I’ve been a bit raw, feeling vulnerable. Scared of not being enough, or too much. All of that stuff. But 2017 brings new beginnings. A new year, a new cycle. 

The Winter Solstice

I don’t want to move into the New Year without mentioning the Winter Solstice. It was especially beautiful this time around as I celebrated it with friends, on the top of the mountain, above the clouds. It truly felt like we were in a different land, far far above everything and everyone else. In a different world. We climbed the mountain beneath an orange sky, and at the top, we did a ceremony together. We sang and watched the sun come up. I remember the pink edge of the clouds and how they stretched out like an ocean below us. And the incense, drifting like smoke above the ground around us. We were all robed in white and yellow, and a friend stood in the center of the circle, dressed as the Divine Mother. She lit a candle as the sun rose, and it felt like magic. A gift. I’ve always wanted to celebrate the Solstices and Equinoxes as long as I’ve known they existed. And now I’m finally part of a group that brings that old magic back to life. 

Christmas

Christmas was also beautiful and spent among friends. I felt I was given small gifts of moments, of meaningful discoveries. Gifts of love. And I went for a walk in the dusk of Christmas Eve, standing for a long time under the Christmas star, praying, hoping. Asking for help. I always feel sad on that day, missing my family. I just can’t help it, even after all these years. I always feel broken open and hurting a bit. But I was reminded that I’m very lucky to have received so much love growing up. It fed me and helped me have hope in life, and in other people. I still feel I’m carrying that love inside of me, like a golden seed. 

Wishing everyone a beautiful 2017. I would love to hear from you. How are you? 

9 Comments on The Return of Light

  1. Ellis
    January 6, 2017 at 3:44 pm (2 years ago)

    Happy 2017. May it be magical.

    Reply
    • Anne Linn
      January 6, 2017 at 6:41 pm (2 years ago)

      Thank you, and for you too 🙂

      Reply
  2. sarah
    January 6, 2017 at 6:32 pm (2 years ago)

    it sounds so very lovely. what a blessing to be able to celebrate the feasts with friends! i am happy you have friends and joy (if too much sunlight) in your new home. xx
    sarah recently posted…going wordless into the yearMy Profile

    Reply
    • Anne Linn
      January 6, 2017 at 6:39 pm (2 years ago)

      Thank you sarah. I enjoy the sunlight, I think I just always expect rain, but it doesn’t come lol.

      Reply
  3. Lucia
    January 6, 2017 at 7:47 pm (2 years ago)

    Nice to hear you are settling Anne! A lot of sunlight here in the past weeks for sure… But now the fierce winds started blowing, maybe bringing us a different weather. Wishing you much inspiration and learning in this new year! (and some cafe-times together I hope 😉 )

    Reply
  4. Laura
    January 13, 2017 at 11:31 am (2 years ago)

    Now that it was snowing I felt like Christmas, a bit late! Too much sun for me too in December.

    That’s very beautiful that you prayed under the Christmas star. I don’t even know which star that is lol. And I love what you said about the love you had received being a golden seed inside. I wonder what kind of a plant will grow from it 🙂 It makes me feel like the love I try to give to others is not lost even if it sometimes seems insignificant or not noticed.

    I have that fear too, of not being enough, or being somehow wrong, so it’s easier to hide from people, or if I’m with them, hide myself from them. I don’t have a solid, balanced centre of myself that I could lean onto with others, so I tend to get hurt and devastated very easily. But I have a feeling it used to be much worse. So maybe things are moving even though it isn’t noticeable. Hopefully for you too 🙂

    Reply
    • Anne Linn
      January 20, 2017 at 5:01 pm (2 years ago)

      Ah the Christmas star. It was probably Venus, but I called it the Christmas star because it was Christmas Eve. I grew up with a story in which they looked for the Christmas star, because it disappeared. And only a young princess with a pure heart was able to find it.

      I hope you can feel that beautiful center within yourself 🙂

      I love the snow too! White white, all around us.

      Reply
  5. Laura
    January 13, 2017 at 11:33 am (2 years ago)

    I was also going to say that the picture you have included reminds me of the colours and the feeling of the winter solstice ceremony 🙂
    Laura recently posted…The Fire That Does Not CorruptMy Profile

    Reply
    • Anne Linn
      January 20, 2017 at 5:02 pm (2 years ago)

      Yes, it somehow felt like winter to me. Like the Solstice. I love thise pink mornings and evenings.

      Reply

Leave a Reply

CommentLuv badge