This is something I wrote about a week ago. I was in a heavy place, but then it got better. It always does, and it feels good to remember that.
Yesterday I stood by the ocean, and I heard no cars, only the wind in the trees, the waves against the shore. The sky was full of clouds, and seagulls hovered high above me, floating on the wind, dark silhouettes against the sun.
There is something special about the ocean. I live near a lake, and I feel so blessed to be able to see water every time I step outside, or look out the window. So blessed to hear the gentle lapping of waves during the day, and to see the lake still as glass early in the morning.
But the ocean has a voice of its own. A loud voice that can drown out your troubles for the time being, or, as you stand there you can throw your troubles against it, all your pain and fury, and it will swallow it up. It’s so huge, endless, reaching into the horizon.
I’d like to live by the ocean sometime. If the Goddess is willing.
I’ve been through some dark days lately, days where it felt like I just wanted to sleep because there was little joy in being awake. I got scared for a moment, because it’s been a while since I’ve felt like that. One day I was too tired to do anything but to sit with myself, so I did, as best as I could. I stared out the window and watched the day growing darker, and I prayed to the Goddess. I decided to trust her, that she would take care of things, and I prayed for her to take away my pain. And then it lifted a little bit. Something changed, and it felt like there was space inside of me, a small space of light, where a moment ago there had only been darkness.
Have you gone through dark times? How did you get out of it?